today i ordered coffee under the name “stannis” and i shit you not the barista called out “i have a regular caramel latte for the one true king of westeros”
U gotta act cool, calm and collected around liquid eyeliner bc it can sense ur fear
"She’s really pretty for a black girl"
“He’s really cool for a gay guy”
“She’s doing really well for a woman”
Just in case no one told you today:
- Good morning
- You’re beautiful
- I love you
- Nice butt
THANK YOU SO MUCH. I MISS YOU TOO. BUT JUST ONE MORE SEMESTER AND I WILL BE HOME!! AND IT’S OKAY I’M TERRIBLE AT LONG-DISTANCE COMMUNICATION TOO.
this shirt would fit if it weren’t for boobs: a tragedy
that shirt would fit if i had boobs: the sequel
this shirt fits perfectly because my boobs are the right size: the fanfiction
my shirts always fit: a man’s tale
what shirt: a nudist au
If you can’t handle me randomly blurting out song lyrics that relate to what you just said, we can’t be friends
i can 100% guarantee that if you have a problem with me and come to me like “hey you did/said that and it made me feel x, x, or x” we can discuss it maturely AND privately and if i need to apologize i will
WHY DO PEOPLE CALL IT FUCK, MARRY, KILL WHEN THEY COULD CALL IT BED, WED, BEHEAD
easy there henry
whos henry what thef uck?
*faint laughter from Britian*
HAHAHAHAHAH SO MY FRIEND TOLD ME THAT SHE AND A FRIEND OF HERS ARE FAKING A RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO TAKE HIM TO THIS HOUSE IN THE MOUNTAINS WHERE THEY HAVE YEARLY FAMILY REUNIONS BUT ONLY RELATIVES AND PARTNERS ARE ALLOWED
AND SHE’S LIKE YEAH SO WE ONLY HAVE TO ACT LIKE WE ARE A COUPLE BUT WE’RE NOT OF COURSE IT WILL BE FUN
HAHAHAHAHA M8 I HAVE READ ENOUGH FANFICTION TO KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING
That last sentence.